It's 4:42 am on November 6th. Today at 5:30 am I begin the process for my mastectomy. I have decided to write this post in two parts, before and after surgery. At the moment I am at peace with what is about to occur. For the past week I couldn't explain to anyone how I was feeling. I was completely numb. I know there a lot of people praying for me and I know this peace is the result of prayer. I'm not sure what to expect in the next couple of hours when I awake and my body is different. I do know however that whatever takes place God will give me the strength to get through it.
It is now 742 pm. Several hours have passed since I've had sugery. Once the anesthesia wore off I was good. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest. The doctor said the tumor was more than 5 cm, which was the size of her fist. The tumor had gotten so big that it was pushing into my muscle wall. The lymph nodes were as hard as rocks. This news explains why my boob was so heavy. So indeed the phrase "a weight has been lifted off my chest" was my reality.
I didn't know how I would respond to seeing my war wound for the first time. Being that I am a reality TV show fan, I figured it would be tomorrow before seeing it. Today I got my first look at my new body. Well it wasn't that bad. You see the Lord had prepared me for this day. My mama elected not to have reconstruction after her mastectomy 3 years ago. I have gotten use to seeing her with one boob. When they opened the sugery bra there it was the smaller version of my mom's chest. It didn't even bother me!
I have to thank the Lord for preparing me for this day. It's been a tough journey. However, just like with my hair loss, the worry and fear was part of not knowing what to expect. Once it happened the reality was not that bad.
As I continue my journey which still I have a long way to go, I'll continue to pray, remain hopeful, and believe in the Lord. I couldn't do it without Him!
I need to thank my husband, mama, Aunt Punkin, sister-cousin, Ashley, and besties, Kaye, Kiki, and Yogi for being here for me. I love you with all my heart!
#atoughcookiechronicles
#Godisgood
